Am I the driver of my life?

Thoughts over flow every time any life form around me, amaze me as I observe them with awe. Yes, as I sat this morning first I wondered, wow, matting season is it? Then observed with keen eye, by splashing that water into my eye. Oh good heavens, its life and death. 


Well my dear readers, its a web and the flimsy legged spider was busy on her pray an ant. Ofcourse, the ant was busy rescuing her life. I am a third person here watching all this, sitting for minutes together, should I help the Ant save her life? Should I not help? Will it be fair if I help to the spider for she has given her life force to make those beautiful patterned web to have her meal? 

How will I feel when I am starved to death waiting for my meal and there it comes not in just a lucky plater but after lots of hard work such as this web and someone takes my well deserved meal?

How will I feel when someone is looking at me as an Ant struggling with my life to be saved but purely observatory around me?


I still sit there doing nothing but looking at this entire national geography in my own home corner below the sink. I sit there and watch and watch till the ant finally gets off the web and the spider could not reach below but goes back up above to the rest of the web she has built.


image courtesy : internet search

A flood of feelings and messages that came to me this morning.

1. Helplessness

2. indecisiveness

3. awe


Well yes, a total frozen moment where I could not make a decision whom i should help, and helpless to either and an awe in the way the greater master design has created this creation. After my childhood today I sit just watching. Felt great to bring back that child in me, for the best form of meditation for me is watching creation take its course. Its bliss to watch them live in action.

Normally there would be two of those big black ants in the mornings in that space (yes you may wonder why i never shooed them or put any anti ant powers, they deserve a space too in this world as long as they don't disturb my path i wont disturb them) today to my surprise as I get up found 5 more around that area... where they all observing from the outside too feeling helpless? or did those 5 ants cheer or send prayers that the one caught up could get released... ??


Most times in my life I have felt helpless, could not makeup my mind. Should I just sit outside of me and observe and let the awe of creation take its course in the greater divine order? Asking myself this question I get up to reflect, yes there are times we cannot help another and there are times others cannot help but be spectators. One has to face their own circumstances and situations. Others around can just send prayers or cheer from that podium.


I still sign off thinking, am I the maker of my own destiny or am I driving my life or is the greater good, paving that path I need to be directed / redirected?

What a way to start Shani Amavasya day a day of new moon with greater possibilities when we start anything new today. Wishing you too to plant Your seed that you wish to embark on and grow to greater joy of life.

Comments

Unknown said…
Thank you for sharing your life lesson.
Beautifully expressed and reaches deep into the thoughts of the reader. Thank you dear friend for a convincing message to many of my questions .
April 29, 2022 at 8:46 PM
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